Showing posts with label some things I learned. Show all posts
Showing posts with label some things I learned. Show all posts

Friday, August 26, 2011

some things I learned this past week, volume 3:



  • Only in LA will you see a Goodwill employee taking your donations while donning Marc Jacobs sunglasses.
  • You know you're watching too much Gordon Ramsay when you walk around all day saying, "F*@k me, yeah?" 
  • A bandeau top is the best invention ever until the elastic gets sleepy and one of your boobs pops out, unattended.
  • Whatever you do, don't use baby powder in leu of dry shampoo.  Especially on your temples or you'll look like a child actor playing the grandpa in the school play.
  • If you see the image of an indian chief (complete with peace pipe and headdress) in the ceiling's stucco during the lay-flay-on-your-back part of your workout class, you're probably not paying enough attention to your workout class.
  • Try to get yourself a seat between Miss Universe and one of America's Next Top Models at the nail salon.  It's a real confidence boost.


Happy Friday:)
xoxo
jolie

P.S.  Picture was taken in Venice on Abbot Kinney...isn't the face cool?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

some things I learned this past week, volume 2:



  • Smoking a Sherlock-Holmes-y pipe while driving is just as distracting and dangerous as texting.
  • If you simultaneously sport smokey eye makeup and clogs they cancel each other out.
  • If the driver of a tour bus filled with tourists pulls up next your car and asks you if you're famous, always say yes.
  • On Hollywood Boulevard, it's not odd at all to see Darth Vader and a bicycle-riding Scientologist pass each other and maybe even high-five.
  • Some NYC cab drivers actually say "Fugetaboutit" without any trace of irony.
  • Trying to stay motivated during a spin class while this song is playing only an exercise in futility.
  • Putting exclamation points at the ends of your To Do List items do not make them get done any quicker.
  • Anything you eat while you watch Top Chef is gonna suck.
  • My Mom is awesome.

Monday, April 18, 2011

some things I learned this past week:


  • If you're feeling depressed, best not to listen to musicals that explore deteriorating mental health.
  • If your husband is excited about putting together an emergency kit and you razz him about it, be prepared for a retort including the words/phrases "you won't be sorry" and "end of the world" and "zombies".
  • Tina Fey's new book is a revelation.
  • Go with your gut: if a recipe calls for 1t crushed red pepper and you feel like it's gonna blow the top of your head off, it probably will.
  • New haircuts you're considering will always look better on celebrities with gorgeous faces.
  • After witnessing this horror, I know I will never, in an attempt to save money, dump out poop from a dog bag to reuse it.
  • It scares others (me) when you run without a bra on.  That shit can't be good.  Tie those puppies down.
  • When you make three dozen cookies, go into it knowing that you will eat a minimum of 14 in a 12-hour period.
  • The notion of administering your own pedicure always sounds great until you're down there.
  • Computer-related wire tangles make my teeth hurt.
  • Sometimes reality television will truly cure what ails you.

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