It's the one year anniversary of our sweet Lena's passing and I've had a squishy heart all day. A year ago, David and I were clutching each other in our deep grief, yet also newly pregnant and keeping our trepidatious excitement under wraps. There was so much unknown, so much behind us and so much ahead. And now, exactly a year later, we have a thriving, 4-month-old son who has changed our whole world. Today as we played and strolled and diapered, I watched Louis with such awe. Almost overnight, he's becoming more and more present and awake and aware, his little limbs getting more deliberate, his eyes really looking and seeing. So much ahead of him. And us too. We've come so far and yet we're still at the beginning. Right now as I write this, I watch the light fade outside my office window. I light a little candle for my sweet Lena girl and steal peeks at the baby monitor to see my little Louis's body, the shape of his head, an ear, a little hand. My heart is so full.

What a difference a year makes.

Love,

Jolie

{The beautiful quilt above was made for Louis by the amazing Alicia Paulson:)}

a little bit of gigantic news

Well, what do you know? In the best turn of events ever, I am pregnant. Miracle-style, after four years of trying and all we've been through, we were days (moments?) away from beginning an overwhelming, invasive, extensive, expensive hormone protocol for IVF and I got knocked up naturally the cycle before.

It really took me some time to wrap my head around it. For a while, I was in this surreal limbo. I had to keep reminding myself that I was Pregnant(!!) and also not Not Pregnant. There was a ton of momentum in that Not Pregnant story. And then poof! That story was finished. It shifted my perspective on all the other areas in my life where I've felt stuck. It ignited my faith in a visceral way that I've never experienced. Things can feel for so long like they're never gonna change and then one day, before your very eyes, they do. And then you gotta go get yourself a new story. 

It was two days after I found out about my pregnancy that we learned about Lena's cancer and within two more weeks she was gone. The timing was not lost on me. It was like she waited until we had this imminent new love before she chose to make her transition. My tag-team beloveds: one coming, one going. And as tumultuous as it was during that time, having new life inside me and this upcoming adventure to anticipate was a blessing of a diversion from my pain over losing our sweet Lena girl.

As if my heart wasn't open before, now it's a wide-receiver. The littlest things touch me and bring me to instant tears. It's like the nail salon post times a million. I have so much to say about all of my experience so far but for now, I think I'll just leave it here. Except to say thank you so much for all of your support and love that were part of getting me to this now moment. Now: pass the kleenex, would you?

xoxoxo

jolie

"Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty." -Brené Brown

P.S. Keeping in line with new beginnings, our baby BOY is due to arrive New Year's Day, 2015:)

breakfast pasta (for any time of day)

Oh guys. Thank you a million times over for all your love and support. I am so touched by the compassion and kindness shown not only by my friends and family, but by acquaintances and even strangers. It's so dear to me that Lena was loved even by those who only knew her silly, sweet personality through pictures and stories. Anyway, it has certainly been a hard one over here and I appreciate it with all my heart.

Even though my grief still catches me off guard, I feel like we've gotten through the worst of it. And the cooler temperatures have helped in the relief. It was so oppressively hot here last week. In the movies it's always the rain that is the saddest, but I'd make a strong case for sweltering 100 degree days. They make you feel heavy all over. And they force you to be inside and go slow and turn inward not unlike the rain. I was holed up letting the a/c blow on me while David went on a camping trip that had been planned for months. The house was eerily quiet. You don't realize how accustomed you get to dear little dog sounds until they're gone: sleepy sighs and moans, nails clickety-clacking on the hardwood, squirrel-chase dream sequences.

This week, the super still house has been replaced with all sorts of noise and banging while we have repairs done on our roof. It sounds like we're under attack by giants. My bathroom window has no curtains since it's on the second storey and only faces trees. Today, without thinking, I walked in there naked, only to see feet standing on a ladder outside. Nothing like hitting the deck in your own home. I didn't know I could move so fast.

I think we can all agree that comfort food is in order. Bonus: apparently carbs help replenish energy stores depleted by fear of roof workers glimpsing one's boobs.

xoxo
jolie

Breakfast Pasta
adapted from Hugo's Pasta Mama
serves 2 generously

There is a killer healthy restaurant here in LA called Hugo's that is one of my favorites. They have these pasta dishes with eggs that are the ultimate. I hope you enjoy my tweaked version. See the bottom for some ideas to make it your own.

10oz dry spaghetti (I used brown rice pasta but any will do)
2T olive oil
2 medium cloves garlic, minced
2 t salt-free seasoning mix such as Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Salute
1/3 cup chopped parsley
pinch kosher salt
1/2 cup grated parmesan
4 eggs, beaten
lots of black pepper
salt to taste

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cook the pasta according to the directions on the package, reserving 2T of the hot cooking water before draining. In a large skillet over medium heat, add the olive oil. Sauté the garlic and seasoning mix for 2 minutes, taking care not to burn the garlic. Add the parsley, a pinch of kosher salt, then the hot pasta and pasta water. Toss it all together, mixing well. Add the eggs and cheese and stir fast and well until mixed and cooked through. Taste for salt. Serve immediately with extra cheese on top. Optional add-ins include red pepper flakes, broccoli, arugula, bacon, pancetta, sausage and/or chicken. Whatever gives you comfort:)

P.S. Thanks again for all the love...

lena pagani 2001-2014

With an aching heart and a soggy face, I am beyond saddened to tell you that yesterday afternoon, at home, sweet Lena died in our arms. I still can't believe how quickly it all went down. We got her cancer diagnosis less than two weeks ago and ever since, she went continuously, briskly downhill. After hospitalizing her overnight this week for some fluids and meds, she seemed momentarily better but then stopped eating altogether and just lie there, trembling and having trouble breathing. It was heartbreaking. So we made the decision to help her transition. It was the sweetest and saddest thing I've ever done in my whole life.

I prayed and prayed for her to go in her sleep these last few days. I whispered to her that she didn't need to stay for us, that we would be okay. But being present that moment she took her last breath, surrounded by home and love and kisses and words of gratitude, and the kindest home-euthanasia vet, we got to be there to help her (and us, for that matter) create a graceful completion of her beautiful life. And as hard as it was, she gave us that gift. I'm so glad I got to shepherd her to that edge. She only had to do the very last part of it alone. And then she was free.



"To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn't come with guarantees--these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. But I'm learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude, and grace."

-Brene Brown


"…(s)he will be our friend for always and always and always."

-Rudyard Kipling

flourless chocolate cookies

This week has been a Whirl. Wind. After three vet visits, an abundance of assorted tests, and a couple thousand dollars, we found out yesterday that our sweet Lena girl has cancer. We have seen evidence of her age lately but it made us scared when she pretty much stopped eating these last couple weeks. Ugh. So now, post-vet, we have a lot of sad information and a lot of decisions to make. In good news, we are now armed with some drugs to ease her nausea and help her appetite, so she's slowly, gingerly eating and getting a little of her energy back. She mostly still has her bright eyes and spirit but this morning as she rested she just looked depressed. I tested out all her favorite words (ball, walk, cookie) and didn't get any perk out of her. It broke my heart. But then a little while later, David and I took her to the park and felt so happy to see her walk about and sniff around and even smile a little. She found a dirty shard of a tennis ball in a pile of leaves that she wanted us to throw for her and it was the best sign we've seen in a while. So now we're in this little limbo: kissing on her as much as humanly possible while we treat her symptoms and figure out our options. It's a roller coaster of sadness and denial and cookies. I'm enjoying the denial. And the cookies.

Why do the cookies help so much?

Love to you,
Jolie*

*has the nerve to (perhaps inappropriately) work dog cancer into cookie-recipe blog posts
------------------------------------------

Flourless Chocolate Cookies
yields about 30

Have you had the flourless chewy chocolate cookies from Starbucks? They are so crazy good with their crunchy exterior and chewy interior. And super chocolatey-ness. This is my attempt at recreating them. I dare you to try and eat just one. No matter how many you eat, I bet they make you feel better:)


2 1/4 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (either dutch-processed or not. DP will give you that dark oreo-cookie chocolate flavor. Both are delicious)
1/2 t kosher salt
3 egg whites, very lightly beaten (until just a little frothy on top)
1 t vanilla
1 cup walnut halves, toasted and finely chopped
3/4 cup chopped best-quality dark chocolate or chocolate chips

Line a cookie sheet with parchment and preheat oven to 350F. In a medium bowl, whisk together the sugar, cocoa and salt. Ditch the whisk. Stir in the egg whites with a spoon or fork. This will seem futile in the beginning but trust me, just keep gently stirring and it will all come together. Add the vanilla and then fold in the nuts and chopped chocolate. The dough will be like thick brownie batter. Drop by tablespoonfuls (this is important--you don't want these too big or they're hard to remove from the parchment), 2" apart and bake for 13-14 minutes. You want them shiny and cracked on top. Remove from the oven and let cool COMPLETELY before attempting to remove them from the parchment. You can slide the parchment paper onto a rack so they cool faster but this is not necessary. Use a spatula or gently peel them off the paper with your fingers.

brown butter banana bread with bourbon and walnuts

Hello Lovelies.

Firstly, a heart-felt thank you for all the support following my last post. I did not expect the giant outpouring of love that I received. It touched me so much. I can't believe how many friends, friends-of-friends, and people I don't even know reached out to share how they're dealing with (or have dealt with) fertility stuff. We all cope in silence to some degree (on all fronts, not just when baby-making) and yet this week reminded me how interconnected we truly are. Here's to remembering that when we need it the most.

This week has been a whirlwind of life: doctor's appointments, errand running, tax preparation, external hard drive set-up, auditions, soup making, quilt making, car washing, wine drinking, dog hugs, coffee with friends, hikes, laughs, Pilates classes, pottery classes, teaching, and as many Game of Thrones episodes I could stay awake for. In the middle of it all, I had a TV appearance that amounted to maybe 7 whole seconds of screen time.

Eight months ago when I shot the thing, I had one of the most fun days I've ever had on set. I played a trashy, horrible girl from Queens who had bad hair, nazi tattoos and fake teeth. I was just in one scene but man, I had a blast. I laughed all day with the cast and crew and desperately tried not to laugh when the scene called for me to remove my fake teeth, take after take. (Trust me, that was very difficult.) So when it aired this week and the entire scene was cut down to 7 seconds (and zero dialogue), it stung. Not only was my ego bruised, but it felt like an insult to my experience, like it meant less. I wanted to tell everyone how awesome it had been and how I had a whole scene originally and how fulfilling it was to shoot. I wanted it to look as funny and wonderful and special as it felt to me that day. And it didn't. It looked like 7 seconds.

Needless to say, it was (yet another) lesson in letting go of what others think (truth: they're not really thinking about it). I have to let the feeling of my experience be the representation of it. Not some external, diminished version that a million TV executives had their hands in. I can't control any of that, nor is it personal.

Ironically, if I *don't* let it go, I'm diminishing my own life this week by making it only about 7 seconds on TV, instead of all the other blessings and wonderful things that went down. Like dog hugs and belly laughs and couch time with DP. And all the love and support I feel from so many of you. Also: banana bread. Banana bread went down. And nobody puts banana bread in a corner.


Brown Butter Banana Bread With Bourbon and Walnuts
makes 1 loaf

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
2 cups all-purpose (or gluten free flour + 1/4 t xanthan gum)
1 t baking soda
1/2 t baking powder
1 t cinnamon
1 t kosher salt
2 large eggs
3 large (or 4 small) really ripe bananas, smashed
1 cup packed dark brown sugar
1/4 cup bourbon whiskey
1 t vanilla extract
1/3 cup sour cream
1 cup chopped walnuts, divided


Preheat oven to 350F and grease a loaf pan. Brown the butter (great tutorial here). Pour into a separate bowl to avoid burning and set aside to cool. In a large bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Whisk well and then add the brown sugar, whisking again. In a separate medium bowl, whisk the eggs. Then add the mashed bananas, sour cream, whiskey and vanilla and cooled butter. Mix well. Fold the wet ingredients into the dry until everything is just combined and then fold in 3/4 cup of the nuts, being careful not to over mix. Spread into prepared loaf pan, sprinkle the top with remaining 1/4 cup nuts, and (depending on your oven) bake about 45-60 minutes, or until a tester inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool in the loaf pan for 20 minutes and then turn out onto a rack to cool completely. Bonus points: serve with bourbon-spiked whipped cream!

xoxo
jolie

P.S. Do you guys get these daily Notes From The Universe emails? They are wonderful. Case in point:

Everything in your life right now is awesome. Everything is in its right place, under grace, and whether or not this makes perfect sense yet, one day it will. And the time swiftly approaches when you'll be exceedingly grateful for all that has brought you to this day and contributed to who you've become, because it is exactly that person who is now poised to live as you have always dreamed you would one day live.

Beautiful and apropos, no?

P.P.S. If you like Game of Thrones and also goats ---------------> you'll enjoy this.

greeeeeeeen juice

Hello my darling readers:) This morning we were jolted awake by a 4.4 earthquake wake-up-call. Crap. Even though I've lived in California most of my life, I will never get used to them. Our bed jumped what felt like a few feet off the ground, DP and I clutched each other with death grips and Lena nervously paced around the bedroom for almost an hour afterwards. We lie there, listening to all the neighborhood car alarms and Lena's clickclickclicking, wondering if there would be a second one. I could definitely think of more fun ways to ring in St. Patrick's Day. Now that I think of it, we should've drunk some Irish whiskey to celebrate and calm our nerves at the same time.

Despite being delicious and crazy good for you, green juice is probably up there with earthquakes in terms of St. Patrick's Day fun. Unless your idea of fun is being super healthy. If so, I admire you. If you're normal, my suggestion is to make it tomorrow. Or spike it with a little whiskey.


Green Juice
yields about 20 oz, or 2 portions

1 small bunch celery
3 persian cucumbers
2 small granny smith apples
2-3 inches ginger
5 giant handfuls baby spinach

Wash and trim all veggies, halve the apples and throw everything into your juicer. Drink up!

xoxo
jolie

P.S. Other Green Joeycake Faves:
Avocado Toast
Banana Chocolate Almond Kale Smoothie
Zucchini and Leek Fritters
Roasted Broccolini with Chili and Lemon
Kale Soup

P.P.S. Remind me to tell you about a recent commercial audition where I had to pretend-conduct a symphony orchestra while wearing only underwear. YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP.

baby lena!

Eleven years ago this month, we adopted Lena from her wonderful foster parents, Rachel and Michael. Lena and her sister, Vita, were being starved by a previous owner and thankfully removed from that home and placed in a shelter. Rachel and Michael found them there and loved the sweet girls back to health. They wound up keeping Vita and we've kept in touch over the years, swapping pictures of the sisters and having an occasional dinner. Six months ago Vita died unexpectedly and it hit us hard, especially since we've been aware of Lena aging now more than ever.

They came to dinner a couple weeks ago and Michael mentioned that before we had adopted her, he had taken Lena on the local morning news show here in LA, where they have a regular animal adoption segment. (What?!) They just sent it to us and I thought you might like to see one minute of puppy Lena:)

My friend Susan said it's remarkable that our child star grew up to be so normal:)

Happy Saturday:)
xoxo
jolie

looooooooove

In doing a modicum of research, I learned that Saint Valentine was a priest, martyred in 269. He is the Patron Saint of engaged couples, bee keepers, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travelers, and young people. Yep. So if you are engaged to an underaged, epileptic bee keeper, score! If not, I have a few suggestions:

1. Marry yourself #1, #2

2. Read these wonderful words my Facebook friend, Micah Herman wrote. I couldn't have said it better myself:

"...Instead of thinking about the love we don't have, let's think about that which we do. Yes, it's sold to the masses as a Hallmark holiday, but at its core Valentine's Day is something much more meaningful. A celebration of love in all its forms: love of family, friends, ourselves, nature… There's already enough hate and disconnection in the world, isn't there? A day to celebrate the other end of it is a beautiful thing.

So if you're not on a romantic dinner [on Valentine's], take a moment to cherish and honor the family and friends that make your life a loving one instead. Opening up yourself to love and being loved in all its forms is what February 14th is truly about."

3. Eat more pink and or chocolate food like Very Berry Steel-Cut Oats and Pomegranate Cosmos and Chocolate Banana Cupcakes and Chocolate Sables with Sea Salt. (I'm throwing Red Wine Braised Short Ribs in here because red.)

4. Read about Valentine's Day around the world.

5. Taken? See if you're a good match with this love calculator.

One of the things I love most in my life is writing and creating this blog. So the fact that you are sitting there reading it right now is a joy and a delight to me. So thank you. Love to you. I mean it.

Happy Valentine's Day:)
xoxo
jolie

P.S. The recipe for these pink donut cookies is here--add sprinkles immediately after frosting!

go on, you can do it:)

I took Lena to the vet this morning to get up-to-date on her vaccines and as she and I sat in the quiet waiting room amongst the other dogs and dogparents, a guy came in with his own black lab mix. The poor thing was going nuts, crying and barking and pulling so hard on the leash she was beginning to strangle herself. She was freaking out and so scared, and I felt both for her and the owner who looked helpless and embarrassed. It reminded me so much of Lena and me, a million years ago. She was always the nervous girl who hated any change in her routine. She puked on every car ride for her first two years, and cried and whined and shouted at me when I'd take her to the groomer or the vet. I was the helpless one, trying in vain to soothe her and wishing so badly she'd understand me when I'd say this will just be uncomfortable for a few minutes! or we're going straight home after this! Even now, when she has a stressful outing, she curls up and sleeps the rest of the afternoon at my feet (she's down there as I write this). It really takes it out of her, my tender little pal.

Now, instead of yelling at me at the vet she just leans on me and gently shakes. Our girl is slowing down so much. Her aging has thrown a wrench into all of our routines. Our big hikes have turned into strolls around the block. We have a lot of stairs in our house and they've begun to give her trouble too. Just a couple weeks ago, her back legs started to give her some grief. I catch her now staring up at the stairs, getting the nerve to take the journey. She's usually okay, taking them slowly: front-foot-front-foot, back-foot-back-foot, but a couple times I've heard small, heartbreaking crashes where she started the climb and then fell a couple steps in. And then she'll stand at the bottom looking up, deciding if she's gonna try again. The other day I said, "Go on, you can do it!" and she went. It was amazing. Sometimes a little encouragement is all we need.

When I left the vet's office, the freaked out guy with the freaked out dog was in the parking lot. He had taken her outside to give her a talking to and she was like, "I don't know what you want from me! I can't take it in there!" I passed them and opened my car door for Lena to jump up. She only got halfway in before she looked back and waited for me to hoist her tail end into the back seat. He must've seen us.

"Getting older?" The man asked.

"Yup," I said. "So is my dog." 

He laughed.

"It'll get easier." I said, nodding to his baby.

"I hope you're right." 

As a woman with no children, it sounds a little small to say "It goes so fast" about your dog, but it does. Life goes so fast. We have to extend a little encouragement to ourselves and others so we can enjoy it to the last drop.

xoxo
jolie

P.S. For Christmas I gave DP a bunch of printed Instagram photos from Social Print Studio. Aren't they lovely?

avgolemono (aka my big fat greek soup)

Dear People of Greek Heritage,

I mean you no harm! I come in peace! I simply seek a comforting chicken soup with lemon, and maybe also some egg that's whisked in to make it creamy and delicious. Historically, your avgolemono is a soup just like that (what are the odds?) and though I am not one of your people, I want some of it to call my own. Listen up, though: this will be a mere nod to the recipe of your ancestors, I pretend to know nothing of Greece except:

*I like your yogurt
*I saw a movie about a big, fat wedding
*I had a crush on a Pappas boy in junior high school

In order to remedy this, I set about educating myself. But upon googling 'avgolemono', I found that the word must have a dual meaning that arouses the angry spirits of Greek critics past. Scathing reviews were scattered below every recipe I referenced. There were Greek shouts aplenty, on topics including (but not limited to): authentic Greek cuisine, the importance of including orzo, and horrified Yia-Yias rolling over in their graves.

Dare I say? It's just soup. Do you own chicken soup with lemon and egg? Do you OWN it? Ok, I can feel you getting upset. Maybe you do own it. I'm sorry. Here, have some feta.

One recipe I found extolled the virtues of the staunchly AUTHENTIC version and insisted on homemade stock and orzo, but then peppered throughout the instructions were lines like use your own judgement and whatever tastes best to you and even swap orzo for rice if you want. Is this some kind of Greek trick? Like: fiddle with the recipe if you dare??

I'm gonna go out on a Greek limb here and make my own version. I'm swapping the orzo for (watch out!) quinoa and using (gasp!) store-bought stock. Then I'm gonna serve it on a bed of wilted spinach. How do you like that? Oh God, I'm sorry. Please don't hate me/write mean comments.

I extend an olive branch. The kind with Greek olives.

Love,
Jolie

Avgolemono (Joeycake-Style)
(not to be confused with the authentic version from the Old Country)
serves 6

2T evoo (please make sure this is Greek olive oil*)
1 medium-large yellow onion, finely diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1T dried dill
1 cup quinoa (rinsed)
2 quarts chicken stock
3 eggs at room temperature (this is very important to avoid curdling)
1/3 cup plus 1T freshly squeezed lemon juice
Salt and pepper
2-1/2 cups cooked chicken (pull it from a grocery store rotisserie one to make it easy)
1/3 cup minced italian parsley (unless you can find Greek parsley*)
Baby spinach for serving

*just kidding

In a large soup pot or dutch oven, heat the oil over medium heat until it shimmers and then sauté the onion and garlic for 5-6 minutes, until translucent. Stir in the dill and the quinoa, coating it in the oil and onions for 2 minutes. Add the chicken stock, bring to a boil and then reduce to a simmer for 15 minutes. Meanwhile, whisk the eggs and the lemon juice together, add a big pinch of salt and lots of black pepper. While you whisk whisk whisk, add about a 1/2 cup of the hot soup to the egg mixture to temper it, then slowly add the egg mixture into the big pot of hot soup a little bit at a time, whisking furiously the whole time. (We don't want scrambled eggs here!) Keep whisking for another minute after it's all added. When the soup has reached a simmer again, add the cooked chicken and parsley, heating everything through. Taste for salt. Add a handful of baby spinach to each bowl and ladle the hot soup over the top. Enjoy immediately and pray no Greek food historians will smite us. Opa!

xoxo
jolie

P.S. Hi to new email subscribers! I'm so glad/grateful you're here:)

P.P.S. Fun fact: the word "Greek" appears 11 times in this post.

P.P.S. Have you met my chicken supervisor?:

xoxo
jolie

here we go!

Happy 2014! I don't know about you guys, but even despite a wonderful Holiday, I'm happy to get back to normal. Today's Regular Monday includes answering emails, a trip to the post office and not eating and drinking everything in sight.

I wrote another piece for the Huffington Post and I hope you like it:)

How To Juice-Cleanse Like A Motherf*cking Champ

In its honor, Lena and I are juicing this morning. She is super psyched about it.

Here's to an awesome year full of fun and blessings,
xoxo
jolie

wink if you hate green beans!

Ok, feeding her whole ones was a bit ballsy.

Happy Monday:)
xoox
jolie

gluten-free pumpkin gingerbread

Happy Halloween, Lovely People!

It's a toss up as to what the scariest thing is around here:

1. The snoring sounds coming from Lena today
2. The mold that is growing inside of our jack-o-lanterns (creeps!) or
3. How fast we ate this pumpkin gingerbread loaf

We had a pumpkin carving contest last weekend and guess who won? Our friend Christopher who pandered to the crowd and tugged at our heartstrings with his "I <3 LENA" offering. Go Team Lena! I don't think she gives two cents about her namesake pumpkin though--she and her bat ears barely sat still for me to take this photo. The letters are getting a bit saggy from the decomp, but I had to share:)

Go make this bread! It is scary delicious! Spicy and pumpkin-y and molasses-y and ginger-y...


Gluten-Free Pumpkin Gingerbread
adapted from Simply Recipes
makes 1 loaf

You can make this with gluten if you like! Just sub out regular all-purpose flour and omit the xanthan gum.

1-1/2 cups all-purpose gluten-free flour
1/2 t salt
1 t baking soda
3/8 t xanthan gum
2 t ground ginger
1-1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 t nutmeg
1 cup pumpkin puree
1 stick butter (1/2 cup), melted
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup molasses
1 T finely minced fresh ginger
2 eggs, beaten
3 T water

Preheat oven to 350F. Prepare a 9x5 loaf pan with cooking spray and set aside. Combine the flour, salt, baking soda, xanthan gum and pumpkin pie spice. Whisk well until evenly mixed. In a separate bowl, stir together the pumpkin, butter, sugar, molasses, ginger, eggs and water until well combined. Add the dry ingredients to the wet and mix until incorporated. Pour into the prepared loaf pan and bake for 50-60 minutes or until a tester (toothpick, bamboo skewer) inserted into the center comes out clean.

xoxo
jolie

turkey mutt loaf casserole (with special guest Lena)

As the canine star of Joeycake, it's really an honor to have you here today in more than just cute pictures, Lena. Thank you so much for joining me!

Um....Have you met me? I'm pretty much joining you every day under the desk here. 

Yes, but I'm so glad you've allowed me to interview you for this home-cooked dog food post.

HELLO, did somebody say FOOD?

Yep. I did. How are you liking the food I've been cooking for you lately?

Wowee! That stuff's good! I like digging my snout in there A LOT. And my tail's been super tired lately. 

From all the wagging?

You got it.

I notice that right after eating, before your epic all-day nap, you do a victory lap around the house. What's that about?

I gotta see what I missed while I was eatin'.

I see. So, which dishes have you enjoyed the most?

The one with the meat. Oh, and that other one with the meat.

Confession: I sometimes slip fresh parsley in there to give you fresh breath.

Say what?

And I also sneak lots of veggies in there and whole grains and even apple cider vinegar so you can live a long time and be healthy.

 Huh. Ok......but there's meat in there too, right?

Yes, there's meat. Don't worry about it. I've got you covered.

Hey, do you mind if I lie down while we have this conversation? And maybe close my eyes?

No, go for it. So, I notice that anytime I'm in the kitchen now you think I'm cooking for you. 

Aren't you?

Not so much. We need to work on that. Your begging has become supreme.

Thanks! Hey, next time you're in there can you make me my favorite Blueberry dessert?

Don't push it.

Turkey Mutt Loaf Casserole
adapted from Feed Your Best Friend Better by Rick Woodard
makes about 12 cups

Ok. Listen. This is happening: I've become a person that cooks for her dog. If you know me this shouldn't surprise you since a) I'm kinda weird, b) I like to feed everybody, and c) Lena has always appreciated my cooking. Oh, and d) I need more things to do (not).

Our sweet Lena girl is about 12 now and has begun to have some health issues that come with aging. All this time we've been feeding her a good, organic dry food but lately I felt compelled to research feeding her some home-cooked grub. After learning what a dog needs nutritionally and how to use food to treat/tame certain conditions, I decided to experiment feeding her a variety of high-quality foods (and adding liquid vitamins, minerals and fish oil) to see if we can extend her quality of life and also avoid illness and all the costs that come along with it--monetary and emotional. It's definitely a little more time consuming but if you're already in the kitchen cooking for yourself, no biggie. This is mega-easy with only two steps: mixing and cooking. And confession: It's really good. I'm not ashamed to say on more than one occasion I've scooped myself out a large corner portion with toasty edges, added some salt and pepper (and a fork) and eaten alongside her. Yes, I eat dog food (see a).

Cooking spray
3 eggs, lightly beaten
2 1/2 t dried oregano
2 1/2 t dried thyme
1/2 t garlic powder
1 T soy sauce or tamari
1 T worcestershire sauce
1/4 cup finely chopped parsley
3/4 cup shredded parmesan cheese (or any cheese, really)
1 28oz can crushed tomatoes
3 lbs ground turkey
3 cups rolled oats

Preheat the oven to 375F. Spray a large glass or metal lasagna pan (mine is 15x10x2) with cooking spray and set aside. In a large bowl, beat the eggs and then add the oregano, thyme, garlic powder, soy sauce, worcestershire and parsley. Mix well. Add the cheese and tomatoes and mix again. Add the turkey and oats and get your hands in there to combine thoroughly. Pour/spread the mixture into the prepared baking dish evenly and bake for about 40 minutes or until a thermometer inserted into the middle comes to 170F. Turn the broiler on high and blast the top for about 5-6 minutes (watch it carefully!) until it gets browned and toasty. Cool before serving and refrigerate or freeze the leftovers. Each 1 cup serving of this contains just over 300 calories*.

*Rick has caloric guidelines in his book to help you figure out how much to feed your pooch. For example, Lena is about 60 pounds and should have 1000-1200 cals/day, depending on her activity level. So I've been experimenting with giving her part high-quality dry food and part home-cooked grub, making sure she gets her caloric needs met.

P.S. Don't ever feed your dog onions! And they need very little salt. (Here's a full list of dangerous foods for dogs.) And BTW I'm no expert, just a dog lover. Talk to your vet about your pooch's diet.

xoxo
Jolie and Lena