Important things I've learned while juice-cleansing this week:
- The first rule of juice-cleansing is: Don't talk about juice-cleansing. It is annoying and tiresome to most, unless they are also juice-cleansing.*
- Make sure the lid of your half-drunk beet juice is screwed on tight. Otherwise you will leave what appears to be a crime scene in your wake/on your person. "It's not blood" is a horrible thing to have to say to a panic-stricken stranger.
- Every commercial is a food commercial.
- All people do on TV and in the movies is eat.
- Whatever you do, DO NOT get into an elevator with a lady carrying a giant box of Sprinkles cupcakes. This is a new form of punishment/torture. We struck up a conversation and I was so worried she would/wouldn't offer me one. By the 4th floor I (weakly) had decided/justified that it was okay to eat a carrot cake one should it be offered to me. Alas, it was not (Boo/Yay).
- 8pm is a perfectly permissible bedtime.
- Extra blush will most certainly be needed to counteract the ghostly pallor you're sporting.
- Do not bring a green juice to a bar where you're meeting friends. This is not only weird, it leads to being forced to talk about your juice cleanse. (See Rule #1 above.)
- VEGETABLE BROTH IS THE SECOND COMING.
*You can, however, write about it on your blog.
I have not had solid food in almost 72 hours (and they do mention something in the cleansing paperwork about Brain Fog) so I may be a little over zealous about that last one. But lean in and listen up: Vegetable Broth is the Next Big Thing.
I'm doing a Pressed Juicery cleanse (after a lot of toxic Holiday shenanigans) and while all the juices are super delicious, they're all cold. So having a little warm and savory broth to sip on makes it all so much better. I swear: It's like pizza. Ok, it's not like pizza but it's like pizza compared to kale juice. So there.
makes 6-8 cups
This savory broth is a great, nourishing light meal. Perfect to support your body in the winter whether you're cleansing or not. I HATE throwing away vegetables so this is a killer solution: keep a large ziplock bag in the fridge and throw vegetable scraps and stems and ends in there as you cook all week. Then add any other veg that looks like it's on its wilty last leg, and make a broth with it! I can't wait to try some other versions with other root vegetables (parsnips, turnips), mushrooms, and maybe even some seaweed.
If you plan on using this as a base for soup, leave out the garlic and ginger and salt so it remains a bit more neutral (you'll season it when you make soup later).
You should experiment and use what you have on hand, otherwise this could be too expensive for what it is. Unless you are on a juice cleanse at which point you will cut off your right arm for a mugful.
My version included:
3T olive oil
1 yellow onion, skins left on, quartered
1 head garlic, skin on, cut through its equator
6 carrots, skin on, rough-chopped
6 celery stalks, including any leaves, rough-chopped
3" of ginger, skin on, sliced
1/2 bunch broccolini, rough-chopped
3 cups chopped kale
several sprigs fresh thyme (use any fresh herbs)
several sprigs fresh parsley
8-10 cups water (depending on your pot)
1t sea salt
cayenne pepper (optional)
Rinse and chop all the vegetables. Sauté 2T olive oil in a large soup pot or dutch oven. Add the onion, garlic and ginger and sauté 5 minutes. Add all the remaining veggies along with the remaining 1 T olive oil on top, stir and sauté another 5 minutes. Add water and salt, bring to a boil and then cover and simmer for an hour. (Depending upon the amount of veggies and water, you may want to simmer a little longer. This is all a bit loosey-goosey depending upon your preference and provisions. Taste after an hour and see.) Strain (you can line your strainer with cheesecloth if you want a really clear version. I just used a fine mesh strainer solo and it worked great) and then refrigerate or drink with a drizzle of olive oil and a pinch more sea salt. Add a tiny dash of cayenne if you like heat. Freeze whatever you won't consume in a couple days.