fourteen mini-posts in one

1. My mom and I were once shopping in an old knitting store that was ridiculously crammed to the gills with yarn. It was stuffed into cubby-shelves and stacked high atop every available flat surface. While there was a great selection (understatement of the year) it was physically uncomfortable to be on the premises. It was like being trapped in a hoarder's apartment, like the yarn was swallowing you alive. At one point a skein threw itself on the floor in front of where we stood. My mom and I froze, staring at it until she said, "Even the yarn wants out of this place." 

This is not unlike Lena's crazy-thick coat this time of year. The hair is literally throwing itself out of her body in giant puffs. With all the brushing and vacuuming and bending over and picking up, I am counting it as an extra workout. 

2. I've made a bunch of impressive (if I do say myself) desserts lately for dinner parties. This red velvet cake was perfection. I reduced the powdered sugar in the frosting by 1/2 cup and omitted the berries, otherwise the recipe was followed to a T. I made it for a Sunday family supper and it even got rave reviews from my super picky five-year-old nephew who exclaimed, "I LOVE RED VELVET!!!" I second that emotion.

3. I made zero amendments to this Smitten Kitchen strawberry/rhubarb pie. It was a huge winner at a recent poker/dinner party. Even not being a huge pie lover, I whole-heartedly recommend this one. And her all-butter pie crust too. Yum.

4. Wish I could say the same, however, about this rhubarb upside-down cake. First off, it's not gonna win any beauty pageants. That would be forgivable if it was crazydelicious, but alas, it was sadly just so-so. I did a bunch of rhubarb recipe research and the most entertaining part about that was finding the extremely niche-y website The Rhubarb Compendium where you can not only search copious databases and learn everything you never wanted to know about the stalky vegetable with poisonous leaves, you can also buy a t-shirt that says Got Rhubarb? and participate in a poll by stating what color rhubarb is your favorite. The recipe section includes such gems as "Rhubarb Peekaboo" and "Cold Rhubarb Soufflé" and says things like, "Try this great tasting cake. Definitely one for all you rhubarb fans out there." I ask this: what non-rhubarb fan would be trolling The Rhubarb Compendium in the first place? Another fun feature is a Star Trek section including a recipe for some sort of Klingon rhubarb bread. Which makes me so perplexed as I know zilch about Star Trek. They had rhubarb up in space? WHAT?! If anyone can shed some light on this, please enlighten me. Anyway. I ran out of rhubarb and patience before I could get this cake recipe right for official posting and now I think rhubarb is past its prime season. I'm gonna go check The Compendium to make absolutely sure.

5-9. Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes.

10. For most of my life, my name has been butchered. I've been mostly called Julie but also not off-limits? Joelle, Josie, Jolene, Joey and Jody. Even Zoe. My seventh grade computers class teacher, Mr. Dotson, pronounced my name "Jolly" during every single roll-call for the whole semester. Early on, I made a handful of feeble attempts to correct him but they fell on deaf ears (perhaps literally) so Jolly I was. And wasn't.

After a lifetime of this, I recently started telling people my name was JJ (my actual initials) in order to avoid having to repeat/spell my name when ordering Starbucks or take-out food. You'd be shocked how many times this bright idea has backfired. Apparently, it's me.

11. I love words and I adore Bananagrams.

12. I just realized that Jacaranda season and rhubarb season coincide! Next year let's make a (much better) rhubarb cake and eat it under a canopy of purple trees! (DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO SAY 'JACARANDA' IN KLINGON?)

13. Game: Can you find Lena? Bonus points if you can spot any dog hair.

14. This is the view from my desk where I sit always. Can you tell I like trees?

Happiest week to you times fourteen!
xoox
jolie

P.S. All the pictures in this post are from my Instagram account as I am newly (and seriously) obsessed with Instagram. Are you? Let's follow each other! (I'm @joliejenkins:)) Check out the great photos of @arielealasko, @weelicious, @thiswildidea, @hirozzzz and @rebs820. So fun.

aw, nuts

I should get an Emmy for the brilliant acting I do at the Drycleaners.  When they start sorting through my pile, sticking that stain-tape all over every single one of garments, I feign utter ignorance.

"Huh," I'll say, squinting as the Drycleaner Lady rips more tape off the roll to stick it near a grease spot. "I have no idea what that is." 

Even though I know it was me who sat a leaky buttered popcorn on her lap and it was me who dipped her elbow into balsamic vinaigrette and it was me who backed her ass up against a frosted layer cake (don't ask) and then tried to blot it off with a dirty-ish kitchen sponge.

They're very decent drycleaning people who go along with my lies. They don't even charge me extra for all the stain-tape I require. 

Today I proudly shuffled in the door with a sweater to be cleaned, feeling super cocky that I didn't need to lie act for once as it was actually  STAIN FREE! Glory Hallelujah! As the Drycleaner Lady typed in my phone number I made idle chatter:

"Some weather we're having, huh? It's beautiful out there!"

"Uh huh," she said, distractedly as she started sorting.

I wanted to tell her it was STAIN FREE but decided to act cool and let her discover for herself.

"Oopsie," she said. "Looks like chocolate."

"Yeah, I don't think so." My cool was slipping away.

"Look," she said, holding it up.

"Where?!" 

"Here. You spilled it down the inside! Bravo."

So it turned out to be a good performance after all. 

And: I need to buy some of these.

Salty, Sweet, Spicy, Savory Bar Nuts
Union Square Cafe, NYC
makes 2-1/4 cups

These nuts are so freaking delicious that it'll be worth it even if, after eating a handful, you wipe your hands on your silk shirt. A caveat: you shouldn't make them if you're not willing to live with having eaten the whole batch. They're even better with a cocktail.

2-1/4 c pecans (or any assorted mix of nuts you enjoy)
2 T coarsely chopped fresh rosemary leaves
1/2 t cayenne pepper
2 t dark brown sugar
2 t Maldon or other sea salt
1 T unsalted butter, melted

Preheat oven to 350F. On a rimmed baking sheet, toast the nuts for about 10 minutes until golden and fragrant, being careful not to burn. (It's hard to tell when pecans turn "golden" but 10 minutes is perfect--when you can smell them, they're done.) Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, combine the rosemary, cayenne, sugar and salt. Add the melted butter and mix well. Toss the nuts in this mixture until evenly coated and serve warm.

xoxo
jolie

wing it!

My sweet niece Olivia turned three this past week and I made her these rad wings!! Don't you want your own adult pair immediately?

I found them on Pinterest via this site (which was a kid's spin on these adult ones from Burdastyle) and I referenced both sets of instructions to make mine. Because they look great all fluttery and not too perfect, this is an extremely forgiving project. Who wants fussy wings anyway?

That's just a little bias tape with ponytail holders on both sides sewn in for her little wrists...

Happy Birthday, darling O!
xoxo
jolie

P.S. If you decide you want to make these, I'm happy to answer any wing-related questions:)

blueberry polenta pancakes with lemony maple syrup

I woke up this morning with a project on the brain so I stepped into the Pinterest vortex to do some research. I came to 45 minutes later having decided:

-new bangs are imperative

-baby animals are always cute (lolz)

-I need/deserve a completely new kitchen

-just because you can DIY doesn't mean that you should

-8 pairs of "must-have" summer wedges are in my future (I must have them)

-It makes me feel old that I have no interest whatsoever in Nail Art**

**I'm trusting the new bangs and wedges will cancel out this old-feeling

After all this (and forgetting the initial project-reason altogether), the rabbit trail led me to a page of blueberry recipes. In 2 minutes, these pancakes were inspired. In less than 25 minutes after that, they were born and about 12 minutes later, they were all gone. They were eaten hastily while standing at the kitchen counter and disappeared so fast that I couldn't even snap a picture of a finished stack. Other than that, I'd say it was a successful Pinterest session/Saturday morning.

Blueberry Polenta Pancakes with Lemony Maple Syrup

adapted from Food & Wine 

makes 10-12 

On their own, these are borderline savory but with a dash of maple syrup, they have the perfect amount of sweetness. The coarser-ground corn meal gives great texture and the jammy blueberries are a delicious compliment to the corn. You can use a fine ground corn meal if desired. Squeezing a bit of lemon into the maple syrup cuts it just slightly and gives it the perfect sweet tang.

3/4 cup flour

3/4 cup corn grits (uncooked polenta)

1-1/2 t baking soda

1-1/2 t baking powder

3 T sugar

1/2 t kosher salt

1 cup buttermilk*

1 large egg, separated

2 T butter, melted and cooled

1 cup fresh blueberries

coconut or vegetable oil for cooking

about 1/3 cup maple syrup

1 lemon squeeze

*If you don't have buttermilk on hand, substitute regular or almond milk plus 1T lemon juice. No one will ever know:)

Whisk together the flour, corn grits, baking soda, baking powder, sugar and salt. Set aside. Whisk together the buttermilk and egg yolk and set aside. In a medium bowl, beat the egg white (solo) until stiff peaks form. Add the milk/yolk mixture to the dry ingredients and stir until mixed (some lumps will still remain). Stir in the melted butter and then gently but thoroughly fold in the beaten egg white.

Heat about 2t oil in a cast iron or non-stick pan over medium heat. Spoon batter by the 1/4 cup, taking care not to crowd the cakes (as they spread). Drop several blueberries into each one (while in the skillet) and cook until bubbles begin to form and the top appears a bit dry, about 3 minutes. Flip carefully and cook another 2-3 minutes. 

Pop about 1/3c maple syrup in the microwave for a few seconds to take the chill off, give it a good squeeze of lemon and serve with the hot pancakes immediately.

Hope you have a fantastic and happy weekend:)

xo,

Jolie

P.S.  I know a handful of people with the sniffles right now.................take care of yourself!

gluten-free carrot coconut muffins

I realized this today: every question you ask a dog is automatically rhetorical. You'd think after 11 years of experiencing this phenomenon with Lena, I'd get it. But no: I repeat these rhetorical questions, asking her at least twice. As if she's not responding because she didn't hear me the first time. Or that she's choosing not to respond. 

Here are the top ten regular queries put to Lena:

1. "How was your day?"
2. "Ew. Why are you sniffing that?"
3. "Ew. Why are you licking that?"
4. "Why are you still sleeping?"
5. "How come you're so smart? Hmm? Hmm?!"
6. "How could you do that to me?"
7. "Did you enjoy some clam chowder when I wasn't looking?"
8. "Why won't you come over here right now and let me kiss you?"
9. "What do you think?"
10. "Would you care for a muffin?"

I did get an answer on that last one (albeit non-verbal) and it was an absolute affirmative.

Gluten-free Carrot Coconut Muffins
makes 12

These are goooooooood and a spin on Brown Sugar Zucchini Bread. The oats give them great texture and the coconut adds a nutty sweetness. I'd like to experiment with swapping some almond meal for a portion of the GF flour and removing some of the sugar, but for now, I'm super happy with this recipe. If muffins ain't your thang, you can easily dump this batter into a greased loaf pan and bake it into a delicious bread. Just extend the cooking time: start checking with your toothpick around 50-55 minutes. When it comes out clean, it's done.

2 cups all-purpose gluten-free flour (I used Bob's Red Mill)
1-1/2 t xanthan gum (unless included in your GF flour includes it)

1/2 cup plus 6T (light or dark) brown sugar (firmly packed)

1-1/4 t ground cinnamon
1/2 t ground ginger
1 t baking soda
1/2 t baking powder
3/4 cup GF rolled oats
3/4 cup coconut oil
3 large eggs, lightly beaten
2 t vanilla extract
1 t kosher salt

2 cups grated carrot

1/2 cup sweetened, shredded coconut plus 2T extra for sprinkling on top before baking


Preheat oven to 350F and prepare 2 dozen muffin tins with cooking spray or paper liners.

Whisk together the flour, xanthan gum, sugar, cinnamon, ginger, baking soda and baking powder. When well combined, mix in the oats. Set aside.

Whisk together the melted coconut oil with the eggs, vanilla and salt. Add the wet ingredients to the dry and stir until almost incorporated. Add the carrots and coconut and stir, taking care not to overmix.

Divide batter between the muffin tins (an ice cream scoop is awesome for this), sprinkle a little coconut on top, and bake about 25 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Alternatively, you can sprinkle the tops with turbinado sugar for a crunchier top.

Happy Friday, lovelies!
xoxo
jolie

P.S. Lena shakes for carrots. 

sesame avocado relish

A couple days ago, in the frozen foods aisle of Trader Joe's, I was approached/cornered by a woman in a faux-fur leopard coat, black ugg boots, cat-eye glasses and a giant, platinum, frizzy halo of hair. She pointed an acrylic nail at me and leaned in.

"Because you have an orchid in your cart, I'm going to give you a bookmark," she said. "Do you like books?" 

I blinked and stammered a few seconds, taking it all in and trying to process what was happening. I had no idea what purchasing orchids had to do with deserving bookmarks but I couldn't deny that I liked books. She had me there.

"Yes," I replied. "I do like books."

I must've answered correctly because she reached into a wrinkly plastic sack and produced a large, glossy bookmark.

"Put it in your purse." She ordered, handing it to me. Then she shuffled away, likely toward more orchid/book lovers.

I glanced at it, perplexed. Upon further inspection I realized she was an author and the bookmark was an advertisement for her book. Here is a choice excerpt:

TOO OLD TO BE A HOOKER, TOO YOUNG TO BE A MADAM

A Novel inspired by true events is a racy fantasia. It's a vivid portrait of April Moon, the charismatic Jewish American temptress born and bred in Beverly Hills, seduced by the lure of Laurel Canyon. Join the original flower child and her extra wannabe starlet party princesses on their journey of dangerous liaisons with the bold, the buffed and the beautiful. Antonio, the cross-dressing, Eurotrash mambo king from Madrid, a combination of a stallion and a pit bull; Diva Boy, an outrageous disco dolly; her certifiable rich mother; Christopher, the eccentric artistic director perv whose family tree is soaked in gin; Lust, a bizarre porn star; and a jock named Patrick, the hot hung eye candy from Orange County. You'll share April's bizarre adventures as a stunt girl, her experiences inside of a trendy drug and alcohol rehab center in Malibu, a psych ward, and a Mexican jail.

Well. I can't say that I'm not curious about April's journey (a Jewish American temptress in a Mexican jail?!), but what struck me most curiously about this whole encounter was this woman's ballsy brazenness at putting herself out there. It was remarkable.

I've never been a fantastic self-promoter. There's something about the look-at-me!-ness of it all that feels impolite. The irony is not lost on me, being an actor (who also has a blog, hello!). But It's one thing to perform in the moment and another thing to talk about it to others and ask them to watch you. In certain ways, I really have to make a concerted effort to put myself out there and even then, a part of me cringes. Maybe it's because I personally know certain actors who go way overboard on the self-selling (narcissism, anyone?) and it makes me tremendously itchy. I never want to elicit that response in others. It is show business, though, as they say, and that means if you want to get a job, you do have to think about how you are seen and how you are showing up.

I'm not just talking about plugging your TV appearance on Facebook, although that's part of it (that's the easy part). I'm talking about energetically taking up space, being unapologetically ballsy. And figuring out how to do that without being a jerk. Frustratingly (to me), those narcissistic actors I just spoke of have tremendously successful careers. It feels like they're being rewarded for being assholes. All this has me thinking: is there a way to show up big, retain and celebrate your own authenticity, and (gasp) be happy and kind along the way?

My teacher/boss/friend Lesly doesn't necessarily think so. Her most successful clients share what she calls ruthlessness and that just sounds so abrasive to all parts of me. What I think is fascinating about this quandary is that (show business or otherwise) we're talking about selfishness. Too little and you're an apologetic soul, living out of fear and worry. Too much and you're an entitled jerk who's gross to be around. It's also about flexibility. The Diva who claws her way to the top runs into a snag by not being adaptable. She expects people and circumstances to revolve around her. The too-adaptable wallflower shrinks into smallness or gets taken advantage of. The right amount of malleability is vital for success and happiness. Lots of rules about how things need to be make it hard to enjoy yourself, whether you're experiencing what you believe "success" to be or not. It makes contentment super slippery and conditional. I want to have goals in my life and go after what I want, but flexibility has to play a part to let the definition of happiness be moveable. Mainly because I've tried it the other way and it's freaking uncomfortable.

Whether actors or not, maybe we could think about indulging in Self-promotion with a capital S. Promoting and celebrating our higher, most authentic Selves, thinking BIG in the vastest sense and not just for personal gain. Maybe we can try on some entitlement in terms of being committed to our own (flexible!) happiness. And perhaps ruthlessness has a place in cultivating an unyielding, unapologetic commitment to follow heart and gut, to hell with what anyone else thinks. And hopefully by having those intentions, the things out there in the world that we want to experience will be drawn to us. And we don't have to be jerks to get them.

Bonus: this kind of light-shining benefits not just self but the collective too. True story: on my way home from Trader Joe's, while stopped at a stoplight and trying to read my new bookmark in the dark, I saw a guy standing alone on a street corner with an actual, live sparkler in his hand. Just standing there, doing figure-eights and twirling it solo while it burned and sputtered. He seemed to be purely doing it for self-satisfaction but for those few fleeting red-light minutes, did it ever make me smile.

Sesame Avocado Relish
serves 2-3

This dippy spread was born out of a need to feed three hungry women at a rehearsal. It was such a hit (and snarfed so quickly) that it is now a rehearsal requirement due to its severe habit-forming properties. And it like, totally made us better actors.


1 perfectly ripe avocado, halved
gomasio to taste (or plain sesame seeds)
brown rice vinegar
lemon
sea salt
olive oil or toasted sesame oil

Cross-hatch the avocado and scoop out the diced pieces into a bowl. Sprinkle with brown rice vinegar (start with about 2t), the squeeze of a quarter lemon, a drizzle of either olive oil or toasted sesame oil and a shake of gomasio. Taste. Depending on your palate and the size of your avocado, keep adding more acid/salt/gomasio as you go. Serve with raw veggies, atop salad, with chips (maybe fried wontons!?), smashed on toast, etc...

xoxo
jolie


P.S.  Do you like monkeys and/or Lorenzo Lamas?  Check out this commercial I did!*

*she said, unapologetically but with authentic boldness:)


P.P.S.  4 awesome things that relate:

1. After I wrote this post I came across this Agnes DeMille quote and almost fell outta my chair.
2. Remember: your playing small does not serve the world!
3. No one is gonna pick you. Pick yourself.
4. This for fun:)

cuatro for cinco

Hola, mi amigos! Happy Cinco De Mayo!
Since I eat some form of Mexican food almost daily, it surprised me to peek into my recipe index and find only four Mexican-ish recipes. (Note to self: must remedy that.) I thought it would be festive, at the very least, to post photos so you can enjoy the avocado porn...

photos/recipes from top to bottom:

Feta Guacamole
Chicken Posolé
Italian Guacamole
Mexican Chicken Soup

two bonus Joeycake Mexican-Restaurant stories in case you missed them:

Love in a Mexican Restaurant
Why You Should Always Carry Knitting Needles


and a bunch of great-looking Tequila drinks from bon appetit:

mmmmmmmmm


Hope you have a muy wonderful day!
xoxoxoxo
jolie